Bullying and Harassment In Government: A Crisis of Culture and Leadership

My Radical Respect podcast co-host Wesley Faulkner and I spoke with bestselling author, speaker, and culture transformation expert Diane Kalen-Sukra, MA, CMC this past summer. The topic — the growing culture of bullying and harassment in government — is particularly relevant in January 2025.

This isn’t just a problem — it’s a crisis threatening the very foundations of our democracy. Increasingly, public officials are stepping away from leadership roles, not because they lack dedication, but because the toxicity has become unbearable.

Diane has been at the forefront of documenting this troubling trend. She shared a particularly striking example from her book Save Your City, where a longtime Canadian mayor resigned in 2018, citing the poisonous political climate as a direct threat to his health.

“I actually feel ill every time I return to town and sick to my stomach to attend council meetings,” the mayor wrote in his resignation letter. His departure was soon followed by two other municipal council members, underscoring the depth of the problem.

Wesley pointed out that this isn’t an isolated issue. “The personal politics — how people can actually not get reelected because they work with the other party — is kind of the environment here in the U.S.,” he observed. “The divisiveness is not just something that’s tolerated but encouraged in some ways.”

The Normalization of Toxicity

Bullying in government isn’t new, but the scale and intensity have escalated over the past decade. This in turn is driving out experienced, dedicated public servants of all backgrounds.

“People are blamed for having experienced toxicity,” Diane said. “It’s a simple critique to simply blame the target, to explain it away like, ‘Oh, they somehow brought it on themselves.’”

When competent leaders leave, governance suffers. Public service positions remain vacant, service delivery deteriorates, and communities bear the brunt of leadership vacuums.

“When we live and work in poor civic cultures, it affects our ability to collaborate and cooperate,” Diane warned. “It ultimately affects our democracy because democracy is won and lost in the cultures that we foster in our communities.”

Understanding the Nature of Bullying

In Radical Respect, I discuss the distinctions between bias, prejudice, and bullying.

Bias is “not meaning it.” Bias is unconscious. It comes from the part of our minds that jumps to conclusions, often reflecting stereotypes that we don’t believe if we stop to think.

Prejudice is “meaning it.” It is a consciously held belief, often rationalizing flawed assumptions and stereotypes.

Bullying is “being mean.” There may be no belief, conscious or unconscious, behind it. Often it is the instinctive use of in-group status or power to harm, humiliate, dominate, or coerce others.

The performative cruelty of bullying, often amplified by social media, creates an environment where harassment becomes a tool of political gain. The erosion of basic respect in civic discourse not only discourages good leadership but also emboldens those who see bullying as an effective way to consolidate power.

The Role of Upstanders In Changing the Culture

Addressing this crisis requires more than just awareness; it demands action. The responsibility doesn’t rest solely on leaders — it’s on all of us. Being an upstander, rather than a bystander, is essential. There are several ways to intervene when witnessing bullying or harassment:

• Direct: Calling out disrespectful behavior in the moment. “Hey, that’s not how we talk to each other here.”
• Distract: Sometimes the direct approach makes things worse for the person being bullied, might escalate the situation, or might put the upstander in harm’s way. In these cases, the best thing to do might be to create a distraction.
• Delegate: By delegate, I don’t mean ask someone “below” you in a hierarchy to do the work; I mean get help from another person who is in a better position to intervene, or build solidarity with others.
• Delay: Sometimes uncertainty about the risk of retribution may make you reluctant to intervene on the spot. But you can still check in with the person who got bullied later.
• Document: Recording and documenting incidents of harassment. If you document, remember, the document belongs to the person harmed, not to you. Don’t go posting it on social media.

We must also hold civic institutions accountable for establishing and enforcing clear codes of conduct. Wesley explained, “It’s very important to set up rules of engagement and make sure those rules are enforced regularly. If you let something slide, people keep pushing that boundary, and it gets worse.”

A Call for Cultural Transformation

Changing political culture is not just about policy — it’s about people. Diane has spent the past several years on what she calls her “Civility Tour,” working with local governments worldwide to help rebuild civic culture. Her message is clear: toxic culture is the greatest impediment to sustainable community building.

“After I wrote the book, I didn’t really realize that I was on a civility tour. I seemed to be, in 2018, the only person talking about this as a major big issue. And, it was the media that first dubbed it as a civility tour. But what I really wanted to do was to express the point that civic culture can change and that we’re all responsible for it. And that toxic culture is indeed the greatest impediment to community building, you know, especially sustainable community building. We think that if we put in some green infrastructure or, you know, do something that looks sustainable, that we’ve achieved our objective. But as we can see, it can all unravel if we don’t learn how to get along together and kind of revive the art of living and working well together.” — Diane Kalen-Sukra

Ultimately, the rise of bullying and harassment in local government is a symptom of a broader erosion of respect in public discourse. But we are not powerless. We can work together better. We must work together better. If we fail to address this, we risk losing more than just competent leaders — we risk losing the democratic principles that hold our communities together.

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Originally posted on Radical Respect. Radical Respect is a weekly newsletter I am publishing on LinkedIn to highlight some of the things that get in the way of creating a collaborative, respectful working environment. A healthy organization is not merely an absence of unpleasant symptoms. Creating a just working environment is about eliminating bad behavior and reinforcing collaborative, respectful behavior. Each week I’ll offer tips on how to do that so you can create a workplace where everyone feels supported and respected. Learn more in my new book Radical Respect, available wherever books are sold! You can also follow Radical Candor® and the Radical Candor Podcast more tips about building better relationships at work.