The Advice that Changed My Career
A mentor gave me some invaluable advice early in my career. Asking for help, he explained, is very different from asking for a handout. Asking for help is like asking someone to invest in you. And it’s the gift that keeps giving.
Once someone has helped you, the person has invested in your success and is likely to help again if you need it. You’re not indebted to the person who helped you. You just need to pay it forward.
How to Ask for Help
Here is a simple calculus you can do to figure out the best way to ask for help. Look for something specific the person can do to help you.
Don’t ask the person to have coffee or lunch with you — they are busy, and 15 minutes can feel to the like a big ask. Look for things that are relatively easy for the other person to do but have a lot of value to you.
A great ratio to keep in mind is low effort for the person / high value to you. But don’t limit yourself. Often people will go to a lot of effort to help you. People can be incredibly generous.
Asking Mentors and Colleagues for Help
You can ask a mentor for advice on a specific decision you are making. Think through in advance how to present the decision in the most efficient way. Don’t ask the person to do your thinking for you. “I could do A, or I could do B. Here are the pros and cons as I understand them. Is there another factor I should be considering?” (And definitely buy Mentorship Unlocked by Janice Omadeke, PMP from your favorite book seller!)
You can ask also ask a senior colleague for help. Often people who have a little more seniority than you do can help you in a number of different ways. They can:
→ Help you get assigned to a different team or to include you on a high-profile project that will help you on a path to promotion. Often you’re doing them a favor when you put your hand up, so helping you helps them.
→ Support your promotion.
→ Make an introduction to a new job opportunity.
→ Offer help in figuring out how to report HR violations in a way that won’t harm your career.
Yes, asking for help can be uncomfortable, but the rewards are worth it on both sides. To learn more about the hidden power asking questions, watch my live chat with Jeff Wetzler (video below) where we explore his new book Ask. This book offers a highly actionable method for drawing out the real thoughts, feelings, and experiences of those around you (on sale wherever books are sold!).
Radical Respect is a weekly newsletter I am publishing on LinkedIn to highlight some of the things that get in the way of creating a collaborative, respectful working environment. A healthy organization is not merely an absence of unpleasant symptoms. Creating a just working environment is about eliminating bad behavior and reinforcing collaborative, respectful behavior. Each week I’ll offer tips on how to do that so you can create a workplace where everyone feels supported and respected. Learn more in my new book Radical Respect, available wherever books are sold!
